A few weeks before I came to the Lord, an American friend of mine asked me if I had ever seen a pig. I said to her, “I come from a Moslem home, and we don't eat them, and I don't recall what they look like. She took me to a ranch where there was a huge mud puddle, and the pigs were playing in it. It looked like they were having a party. At that time my life was so empty, and they were having so much fun, I murmured to myself, “I wish that I was a pig.” My life was a mess. I was empty. I felt as though I had a hole in my heart. I was young, but I was about 150 years old. People from the youngest to the oldest, looked like clowns to me. I was looking for God and no one had an answer for me.

At that time Christianity was a joke to me because I thought all Americans were Christian. I didn't know that the God of Christianity is the only true God; that Jesus told us the truth about God and about life and death, and about heaven and hell. As the Lord says in His Word, “My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6

As my emptiness grew, my desire for God grew also. His love drove me into the streets, and door to door; in front of banks, supermarkets, and anywhere I saw people, I asked them if they knew God. I wanted to connect to God and I didn't know how. When I started losing hope of finding Him, I would encourage myself by saying to my soul, “don't give up, we will find Him someday.” At times I would come home after searching for God, and would cry out to the Lord, “One more day I went out there, but I didn't find you.”

The people attending university with me knew of my search for God. One day, while I was walking on the first floor of the university library, a student yelled out: “Hey, has anybody seen God recently?...an Iranian girl is looking for Him. If you happen to find him tell him to turn himself in to the lost and found department.” He thought he was being clever, mocking God and ridiculing me. I got upset and responded to him, “Clowns won't stop me,” and my search continued.